Vulnerability is the key to unlocking emotional safety. Clients Randy and Kim sit in my office questioning whether they made a huge mistake marrying one another. Kim, exclaims that Randy “never listens to me, he’s always consumed with other things and never makes me a priority.” Randy, feeling dismissed and constantly blamed, sits on the couch looking away to the opposite corner of the room. “See, this is what I am talking about! He can’t even show me attention in therapy whe

Mercy is the concrete action of love that, by forgiving, transforms and changes our lives. We all have our pet peeves. For some, it’s drivers who don’t use their turn signals. For others, it’s punctuality (I may or may not fall into both categories). One of my biggest pet peeves, however—whether shaped by my upbringing, my life experiences, my work as a therapist, or all three—is the phrase “forgive and forget.” THE PROBLEM WITH FORGIVE AND FORGET When we pause to really cons